The Complexities of Natural Hair: It’s a Mindset

As you can tell from the title, I’ll be talking about the complexities of natural hair, and how it’s based on your mindset.

Just a little backstory: I’ve always had natural hair. It’s never been relaxed, but as a child, I wanted to relax it. All my friends had relaxed or texlaxed hair, and I just loved how it flowed down their backs, and looked pretty. I would see their hair as beautiful because I was conditioned to think that. No, I was never told my hair was ugly, but everyone I saw had long, straight hair, from the shows I watched on T.V, to my teachers and everyone in my family. No one had hair like mine.

I always begged my mum to relax my hair, but she always refused. In an effort to look like my friends, I always opted to blow dry my hair bone straight. Unfortunately, it would become frizzy the day after, and we’d be back to square one.

When the natural hair movement came along, I started to appreciate my hair more and more, and began to understand how it worked.

Not gonna lie, it took a lot of trial and error, but I eventually figured it out and I’m happy to say that my hair is thriving and I love it!

This was just a simple backstory about my hair, so you can understand where I’m coming from.

Since the natural hair movement began, I’ve realised that a lot of people who have decided to follow it, often face a lot of issues.

The main issue they face is believing the notion that natural hair is difficult to take care of. Now, I’m not saying that it’s all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s not thunderstorms and hurricanes either…

A lot of us have been conditioned to think that natural hair is difficult. Difficult to comb, difficult to manipulate, difficult to grow etc. This leads us to believe that our hair has no hope, no future and is nothing but a burden.

This, however, is not the case! I often think about how our ancestors took care of their hair. They had beautiful, exquisite hair that could be styled in a variety of ways. They saw hair as a symbol of beauty, status and social class. Hair styling was also a favourite pastime for some. If they can love and take care of their hair, why can’t we?

A lot of friends, acquaintances and classmates I’ve had/have often come to me for advice on their hair. One common pattern I’ve observed, is that they focus on what their hair can’t do, instead of what it can do. Your 4C hair cannot look like 3C hair. Point. Blank. Period. Manipulate your hair to do what it can, not what it can’t. Follow people who have your hair type and see what they do.

Another issue, is that they believe that in order to maintain natural hair, you need a plethora of products. That too, is false. You don’t need 5 different butters, 8 conditioners and 10 leave ins. Figure out what works for you. If you need multiple products, that’s fine, but if they’re not necessary, then get rid of them. Having too many products just confuses your hair.

A lot of people also think that natural hair doesn’t grow. Your hair is always growing, just like you nails. Certain conditions may cause your hairgrowth to stunt, but that’s in rare cases. The reason your hair may seem like it’s not growing is because of shrinkage, or simply because it’s breaking. When I wash my hair, it’s at my shoulders. When I stretch it, it’s at the middle of my back. It’s a whole illusion.

Speaking of breakage, many people don’t know how to comb their hair. Sis/bro, please comb your hair from the ends to the roots and not vice versa. Also, your hair should be moisturised before you comb it. Don’t comb dry hair. Imagine stepping on dry and wet grass. The dry grass will obviously break. That’s what happens to your hair.

Lastly and most importantly, many people don’t love their hair. It’s a fact that we’ve been conditioned to think of our hair as less-than, and that bone-straight hair is the best out there. We need to get rid of that mindset, as thinking that way prevents our hair from reaching its full potential. You wouldn’t take care of something you deem as negative. You wouldn’t learn how to handle it in the right way, and that in turn, makes you even more frustrated.

This is why I say that the complexities of natural hair are based on your mindset. If you see your hair as difficult, It will always be difficult. If you see it as something you can take care of, then you will take care of it.

Your hair is beautiful as it is. You just have to learn how to take care of it, and you will be fine.

Let’s all get rid of that negative mindset, and start seeing our hair as the beauty that it is!

Thanks for reading!

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